Not Everyone Needs Good Neighbours

The shock hit me like a bullet.

The news.com website loaded onto my screen with the announcement that Natalie Basingthwaighte, Rogue Trader's almighty marketing tool, will be parting ways with the Melbourne band.

And where is she off to?

Hollywood. To focus on a movie career and her solo album.

Well that's a suprise. Who'd have thought a hot chick from Neighbours would start a solo singing career.

If there was undeniable talent, then that would be great! But the problem is, none of them can sing. With the possible exception of Delta of course, and I won't say anything defamatory about our precious little angel Delta, lest an angry mob of the 'Sunrise Family' headed by Mel and Kochie come crashing down my door.

But why do all these girls that can't sing keep getting careers? Because they're hot. What about Mag? Where was her music contract? Her voice was raspy and sensual.

I don't think Basingthwaighte even sang a note during her whole time in Rogue Traders. She just rubs her hands all over her body and speaks in a sexually provocative way. Occasionally getting louder and even yelling.

Switch on a bit of Auto-tune, add some of the Rogue Trader 'genius' - ie using generic outdated riffs from old popular songs and applying them to your music as though it's your own - and you have yourself a pop song.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm guilty enough to admit that I enjoy a good pop song from time to time, but the crap that keeps getting churned out from Neighbours is unbelievable.

Holly Valance anybody. 'Kiss Kiss' were the infamous lyrics I believe. And look what happened to her music career after that masterful song - nothing.
So she went to Hollywood. Which is where Natalie Basingthwaighte is now heading and where my annoyance began.

Yep, the music industry uses sex to sell. That's a new one. But at least come up with some original music and maybe even someone capable of singing.

In case you are curious, the Rogue Traders will be continuing, without their lead vocalist.

But the drummer Ash seemed pretty confident about it all saying, "Rogue Traders has always been a project in transition... With phase two coming to a close, phase three is about to begin and most, literally won't see it coming."

I just hope I don't see anything coming. I'll end my rant now.

Come for a ride on my BMX baby!

BMX are a four piece disco tech loving extra large fun bucket from Queensland Australia. I recommend you listen to the track 'Theme To BMX' during a passion pop drinking pool party. BMX will be supporting Van She during Van She's upcoming party tour, so come on down to the party and check them out!

BMX - Theme To BMX

BMX MySpace

Van She Party

Enjoy.

The Teenagers @ Oxford Art Factory 14/6/08

I observed the crowd at the Teenagers sold out (over-sold in fact as my buddy Vanessa reliably informed me) Sydney show on Saturday night with much interest. Beautiful people upon beautiful people poured in to the diminutive Oxford Art Factory, all sharply dressed in whatever Paddington-based designer they are sleeping with at the moment. Everyone was looking everyone else up and down, making mental critiques of each others choice of couture. It was all very amusing....and yes there was a gig on that night too.

The Teenagers in recorded form come off as smug, sleazy Frenchmen. This is not entirely true I found. Sure they are smug, sleazy Frenchmen, but they have an enchanting and probably smug and sleazy lass on the keyboard/rhythm guitar as well which kept the male minority satisfied. Musically they aren't what you would call technical, or complex, or innovative for that matter. But they do know how to put on a fabulous show.

For what seemed like 5 minutes (it was closer to 45, still very short) the band delivered an entertaining show filled with tracks from their debut LP that have been the buzz of blog land for the last 18 months. 'Sunset Beach', 'Starlett Johansson' and 'French Kiss' got all the females in the room (trust me they were numerous and stunning) worked up into a lather, with the first guitar stroke from 'Homecoming' breaking the camels back. At the stroke of the guitar, many many of these ladies stormed the stage. Chaos ensued, resulting in the band being groped throughout the entire song and beautiful women enunciating the 'c' word to the crowd in greater quantities than I have ever heard before.

Although musical boundaries were not troubled, The Teenagers certainly deserved the response they received from the sold-out crowd. With impressive support acts such as Flying Foxes and Reptiles, it was an entertaining evening had by all.

I Woke Up Today

Hello there everyone,

Yet another of the whiteboydancefloor crew here protesting to you that no I am not dead to this beautiful medium of blogging.

I'll keep it short, but I have started a new job which involves 3 twelve hour shifts and as such my body is still adjusting. You know kids these days, no stamina.

Getting up at 4am has been quite a different experience but i have fallen in love with the roads belonging to me. As most of the party kids go to bed, I awake from my 8:30pm bedtime ready for action.



This new lifestyle has made Port O'Brien's "I woke up today" have a strong relevance to myself. After seeing the over exuberant film clip for the track, I became envious. I wish I could awake from my slumber with the same kind of over the top enthusiasm for life that Port O'Brien have.

What I really like about these guys is that it isn't one of those sounds that makes you marvel at the vocals, be blown away by the guitar solos or anything along those outer body wanky type things. Port O'Brien is pure and simple excitement. They ooze it, and it makes me want to do the same. For those in love with the wanky type blogging, I would say Port O'Brien are an elusive but none the less powerful tide that pulls me out to sea and swallows me warts and all.

My personal highlight was "Fisherman's Son". Although it is a very moody, very stringy melancoly type of track, it does not discourage you from singing the song at the top of your lungs. They may shout in unison a lot but it is not to the detriment of whatever mood they seek to set.

The title to the album gives a really good indication I feel of the approach Port O'Brien brings to their music, "All we could do is sing" and really thats exactly what they do. The album was a reassuring stronghold for me that ensured I wouldn't fear "I woke up today" was a drop in the ocean and indeed demonstrated this outfit have quite a few strings to their bow whilst always making every song an infectious communal sing along.

This clip for "I woke up today" is a must watch! Does it remind anyone else of Carribean Amphibean from Sesame Street?


Port O'Brien - I Woke Up Today from Christian Stavros on Vimeo.

Parklife 2008

Thanks to ITM we now know what Parklife 2008 will bring.

Parklife tour dates

Adelaide – Saturday 27th September
Melbourne – Sunday 28th September
Perth – Monday 29th September
Brisbane – Saturday 4th October
Sydney – Sunday 5th October

Parklife line-up

Goldfrapp
Soulwax
Peaches
2manydjs
Dizzee Rascal
Martin Solveig
Plump DJs
Diplo
Jesse Rose
Does It Offend You, Yeah?
Blackalicious
XXXchange
Metro Area *
Elektrons
Yuksek
Van She
Dragonette *
Boy 8-Bit
Familjen *
Bag Raiders Live
Ajax
Slyde
Grafton Primary
Van She Tech

NOTE * = Worth watching =)

Presidential Prostitute

You may remember that about 2 months ago I spoke about the new rules and 'three strikes' system employed by the French Government in regards to file sharing. If you DON'T remember you can catch up here (or not).

Anyway I managed to word it all into a lovely joke about the possibility that the reason Mr. Sarkozy is doing this is because of his wife - model turned 'singer' Carla Bruni. And come on, if you ask me her music IS a joke. But not a funny one..


Reading the news today, as I often do - who should I see in the headlines but the same woman, with the headline worded strategically - 'French First Ladys 30 Lovers'. I clicked expecting a French gangbang but NO. Upon reading the news it turns out that Mrs Sarkozy is releasing a new album and its being heralded as 'a new departure from plain folk' as well as 'embracing the styles and flamboyance of the 1960s' (so which one is it? old or new?). It amuses me that every single quote I have heard from press reviews seems to indicate that we should all drop everything and buy this album. How about no. It's quite obvious to see that the reason behind these positive reviews is that this womans husband could have you killed. With a baguette.

Just like I joked previously it would appear Ms Bruni is using her new political position to further her music career.

Can you imagine Hillary Clinton dressed provocatively singing songs about sex with many men and talking about hard drugs? I can guarantee you it would be a better selling and more entertaining endeavour than this tragic adventure the French are being taken on. First they can't download music. Then they have the presidents wifes' music forced upon them by the media and no doubt the government. Whats the next logical step? Release the album ONLINE! So all those hairy-palmed French teenagers can download the songs while whacking off to your nude photos.

Apparently a US release is planned as well - surely it will take Carla's massive US sales list past its already amazing 6000 sales between 2 albums (one in every 50,000 people, and ALL probably French expats). And then what next? Australia? Christ I hope not. At least here in Australia we can download it/laugh at it/even LIKE it (if its what you're into) without fear of reprehension.

If you want it, Comme si de rien n'était (As if nothing happened) comes out on July 21st. Something tells me the title will sum up the underwhelming listening experience quite well. And I leave you again with this message - if you've got a personal agenda you'd like forced on a majority of the population - get in the pants of someone with power. They've been married 4 months, laws have been changed, and a new 'acclaimed' album is due for release. Who's really in control here?

Carla Bruni Myspace (No new songs, interestingly. Whether this is because she cant handle criticism that isnt being paid for OR because by putting it on there people could grab it for FREE, or a bit of both, is left to be seen I guess.)

Bits and Pieces

So I turn on my computer this morning and after checking the soccer results (Holland 3 - 0 Italy - AWWW YEAH) I went to check on the news. Up comes a traditionally disgusting picture of Amy Winehouse with the headline 'I'm Not A Racist'. Why? Because she was off chops singing a lyrically altered childrens song with a friend. Have a look.



Now there are a few things about this video that annoy me - Its from last year, first and foremost, so for it to come out now and cause 'outrage' is stupid. Second of all they are obviously HIGH AS A FREAKING KITE which is no excuse, some of you might say. Well I think it is. If every fucking photo or video that the media showed the world contained you at times when you drunk, high, upset or just not at your best people would quickly begin to think this was how you had conducted yourself your entire life. THIRD point of order is that, whilst high, they are obviously singing a CHILDRENS song which you will no doubt find has alot to do with where she was brought up and the people she hung around. FOURTH point of order is that Gooks and Nips are the same. Thats not really in her defence, I just wanted to clarify. (Apologies to the Gooks and Nips out there who may think they are different).

What everyone sadly forgets these days, due to the incessant hounding of the press and the continual publishing of horrible photos and bad stories, is that Amy Winehouse is a fucking AMAZING singer. She has more talent than all these Lily Allen/Kate Nash/we all sound the same, sing the same, look the same AND act the same bitches that are coming out of MySpace put together. She takes drugs, SO FUCKING WHAT!? So do 75% of the bands in your record collection! If you had a friend you cared about on drugs, ruining their life would you constantly put them under public scrutiny? Would you make them feel bad about themselves? Defenceless? Or would you do what you could to nurture them and help them recover? Maybe Winehouse should employ the Lily Allen method and have a miscarriage so everyone feels sorry for her instead of thinking shes a drunken loser (which, sadly, Lily Allen is). Then again if Winehouse DID employ such a method people would probably think she killed it. Do you see the amazing double standards here? Argh. Maybe people will never understand. Everyones entitled to an opinion and thats mine.



In other news from that part of the world my favourite Scottish trio The Fratellis have brought out a new album and thanks to the wonders of the internet and Imeem you can hear a nice montage of samples from all the tracks (including the full length new single 'Miss Mabel' right here. What do I think about it? It certainly sounds much more polished than Costello Music, but it's kept the drunken swagger that these guys have made their own. There don't seem to be the hooks that made 'Flathead' and 'Chelsea Dagger' such amazing songs though. Then again these are opinions based on 30 second samples, so I'm still leaving my disappointment or amazement for when I hear the entire thing. Make your own mind up though. Either way I'll be seeing them at Splendour.

Until next time

Rain, rain go away. Come again another day.

Rain rain go away, come again another day.

Before I delve into my usual ramblings, Who ever wants the rain to come again another day? Any farmers who read this blog need not prove me wrong... but I mean unless that saying was coined by a farmer, it doesn’t make sense, the rain is always the pits and ruins my mood.

Ok so self centered whinging aside, I have music a plenty for you good people along with some wanky pitchfork wannabe ratings out of ten... no need to thank me.

Sparkadia – Postcards (7.9 / 10)

Ahhh it's always the way isn't it there's too much to do and not enough time, the first track on Sparkadia's debut album "Postcards" hits the nail on the head and with the frantic lives of the white boy crew, the song had instant relevance to make it blog worthy.

Ok, convinient irony aside “Postcards” stands up as a very competent debut release and it appears as if Sparkadia have found a winning formula for uplifting jivey songs. While I am an unashamed fan of their sound I can say without a doubt that the spreading love for Sparkadia its heavily attributed to the inoffensively blissful vocals of Alex Burnett.

It is a tad ironic I bought such an upbeat album on such a raining day but hey maybe it will brighten your mood as it did mine. Bands like this make me proud to be Australian!

El Perro Del Mar – From the Valley to the Stars (7.2 / 10)

With the amazing voice that this stunning lady has I am cautious when listening to her music because I struggle to see how she could make anything sound bad. Nice little poppy songs that really do take you away from wherever you are and leaves you somewhere really settling and calm.

I often worry that the art of quick short sharp pop songs isn’t being perfected anymore but El Perro Del Mar does go some way to proving me wrong. When I put this groovy record on I just want to go get a milkshake and fries and click my way along to the gorgeous pan flutes and stirring brass sections.

Some great tunes for you to download.

The Horror The Horror "Country City" - As bizarre a comment as this is, all i can say is that this song is like what BRMC would sound like if they didn’t tuck into the drugs. Great twangy guitars and a great pulsating beat.

Lacrosse "Sunshiner" How big is the rock I have been living under to not realise that Lacrosse is instantaneously lovable. Quirky European car ads here we come haha. A must listen for mine!

Barry Adamson “Spend A Little Time” While it is a tad repetitive, it is a cool funky breath of fresh air.

Lions at Your Door "C-C-C-Crossfire" I have made my love for this band no secret and I will continue to do the same. This shows a real evolution into their sound, the question remains still just how good can these guys get. I love it!

Those Crazy Asians

Well i'm back.

You didn't know i'd left though did you?

Don't worry i didn't realise either. By the time i'd started my month long trip to South East Asia it seemed I was getting straight back on the plane again to go home. Yes, South East Asia. Where the mainstream music is pop and new western music is early 90's love songs.

It took me a little while to understand why every location in Vietnam with tourists seemed to pound out the hits of the early 90's as though they'd never even heard of this 21st Century idea.


I'm just going to assume that the sounds of Celine Dion, Bryan Adams, Mariah Carey (urgh), and Elton John are so appealing to them that they simply believe this is all westerners listen to.





The Vietnamese clearly believed so. Never, even in Australia thank God, have i heard the greatest hits of Celine Dion, Bryan Adams and Mariah Carey (urgh) so much. At one point on our trip while travelling on a 2 hour bus ride, a tour guide jumped up just as the bus was leaving, stuck in a DVD and allowed our eyes and ears to feast, in full colour, on the deliciousness of Can't Live, Everything I Do, Candle in the Wind and that God awful Titanic song. Yeah, you know the one.


Now don't get me wrong, some of the music is good - and i'm not going to gratify that answer by expanding because good may just well be an overstatement - but it reaches a point where you've just had enough love for one day and all you want to do is wrap your hands around Richard Mercer's neck until that bastards deep, sexy, erotic voice croaks it! And who will host love song dedications without old sexy voice? It would be a travesty and an end to the horrendous programme once and for all.


So, no, I didn't hear any amazing Asian bands that I had to rush back to write about, just crappy 15 year old love songs that i'd already had the displeasure of hearing many times before in Australia.


I did manage to check out the Vietnamese MTV club. I didn't understand any of it, but there were some attractive Vietnamese females on stage for about 2 hours, which did tweak my interest somewhat. Oh, the music was alright too. It basically sounded like any female or male band/singer you might find on Video Hits, but in a different language. I knew what they were saying without even understanding Vietnamese.

Sex, sex, sex. It's the universal language.


But after all that i had my trusty Ipod and thankfully was able to tune into something a bit more pleasurable on those long journeys through the countryside.


I haven't picked up a paper or read the news, even the music news since I got back last week. So my current information on the world is very limited and therefore what I have possibly posted is also very limited. Though with work starting again i'm sure this will change by tomorrow.


Until then, here are some truly wonderful websites for you to visit.



Bryan Adams

Celine Dion

Mariah Carey (urgh)