More of the Worst Albums of 2006 #2

As I search through mountains of music, bought from fine record stores, ripped from friends cd collections and downloaded off the finest blogs this planet has to offer, It is simply too hard to choose which of this fine nectar should be harvested via whiteboydancefloor. Currently the whiteboydancefloor team are making preparations for 2007 and duelling our way through to creating our "best of" lists.

And so what comes with this over exposure to great music? Well for me it is an overwhelming need to reminisce over horrible music if for nothing else than to ensure that the equilibrium between good and evil is maintained.

Let the countdown begin. Oww and please, lots of hate comments would be great.

5. Muse - Supermassive Black Hole

I know, very harsh to do this to such an amazingly talented group of lads. But any band that comes even remotely close to sounding like they are making an attempt to coldplay-ify themselves really should be taken out into the field and viciously raped by a Grizzlie Bear. The second track on Supermassive Black Hole, "Starlight" was written by Chris Martin, don't tell me otherwise. Some would say I'm being alittle too harsh on poor little Muse and I am, but just like your 4th grade teacher said to you "i expect more from you young man/woman/muse". There are moments (not songs) but moments on this album where Muse get nice and vintage on us, ripping through some beautiful yet violent passages, however my ears are skeptical with any of the bands I love and what they hear is a band heading further toward the island of Coldplay and further away from any homeland nostalgia to their original home on Planet Radiohead.

4. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Stadium Arcadium

Why do we do this to ourselves? RHCP's announce they have a new album comming out and everyone goes bananas. And after the horrid shift that was "By the way", I seriously don't think the RHCP's are even trying to rekindle the funk. As a psychologist I think there must be very specific attributes which enables an individual to funk, I am not completely sure about all of these traits however I certainly know that legions and legions of fans from 3 generations, Endless amounts of money and resources, A fierce stance against band members taking hard drugs and cuddling before performing is not going to be adhesive to making good music.

Anyone who wants to say to me "oww Pix mate, Stadium Arcadium" is bloody brilliant, do what I did. I heard Stadium Arcadium and thought, yeh, this is great, "Heyyy oh, listen what I say oohhhh" and I bopped along for a bit. Then I thought, "hang on a sec, this is the band who made Blood.Sugar.Sex.Magik & Mothers Milk, this is horrendous". Quite frankly I don't care how amazing Californication is, it was the beginning of the downward spiral.

3. Snow Patrol - Eyes Open

Yeah Yeah, easy target to rip on I know. But seriously I cannot stand hearing "if i just lay here, would you lie with me" one more time without shooting someone. If I was a poof or a girl and my lover wrote this song about me, I'd shit on his car and rip out the flowers in his garden (or scratch his land rover if he isn't a poof with a garden). This band will go one of two ways, either dwindle out like every other shit band who puts their life into one song and spends the rest of their life playing it as the "killer closer" to all their sets OR go on to be horribly successful like Nickelback and much like the back, for all the wrong reasons.

I am not going to analyze this album, It just fucking sucks and that's All you need to know.

Oww and Yes i did download it, and I am aware of all the better purposes these Kb's could have been used on.

2. Eskimoe Joe - Black Fingernails, Red Wine

With so much fantastic aussie music going around, you'd think someone would come to Australia and go oh my god, the music that gets played on your radio is amazing! But instead if someone asked you, so who wins all the Music awards in your country, you wouldn't have to hang your head in shame and say Eskimoe Joe.

It absolutely kills me alittle more each day to think that these guys are at the top of the game, slowly but surely they are gaining the killer tour riders, the big tour buses and the bitches waiting to pleasure them post show.

They brought out "A song is a city" and everyone thought oo0o0o edgey, but they have just curbed all the edges into squeaky clean, your mum loves it pop rock. It shocking to think just how big this band might get. I just hope the world isn't as foolish.

And the winner is......

1. Audioslave - Revelations



Let's get straight to it. WORST NAME FOR AN ALBUM EVER.

If you were Bob Dylan, Surfjan Stevens, Jeff Buckley, Soundgarden or RATM, you have the right to name your album something like "Revelations" because the chances of you being on the money are high.

Audioslave are not on the money and it is reflected in the complete lack of radioplay they are receiving for this new album. Their debut album was so brutally rock n roll but also encompassed quite an original sound and it took everyone by surprise. In times where the concept of supergroups are growing old on the masses, Audioslave have required the hype and novelty of great musicians playing together to be replaced by actual continued musical talent.

At times the music is as bland as Pearl Jam 06 but atleast Pearl Jam have a back catalogue of good songs to run with. You only have one album Audioslave. Clearly they burnt themselves out making the debut and I don't see them ever recovering. I don't know if the Audioslave schtick has gotten old and exhausted or if they are making worse music with every album, either way it is time to vote this shit off the island.

Alittle tip Morello, you'd better know how to be good at sucking cock if you want De La Rocha back, along with any respect you might still be able to regain.

Oww and my final thought. Alittle tip Cornell. That little coy moustache of yours isn't fooling anyone. You are indeed a real hack. Get rid of it before I get rid of you.