V Fest - Chelmsford: Pt 2

Sunday began far too early (930 - considering the music didnt start till 1230) due mainly in part to the water, minimal space in the tent and the repeated playing of Arctic Monkeys 'Flourescent Adolescent' by a big bunch of drunken yobs in a tent near ours for the majority of the evening previous. As well as our camps Australian flag being nicked for one of the few hours we all must have been sleeping needless to say we were a little testy in the morning. Luckily for me all international music festivals seem to have herbal remedies in common and it was with a happy heart that we re-entered the site, ready for day 2.

The line to get in was much shorter than the day before, which could have been because of the wristbands, or perhaps because the people who'd kept us up all night were now having their rest (pricks) but it made the place seem much more relaxed, the perfect atmosphere in which to catch Rodrigo Y Gabriela. Its hard to imagine how two people and acoustic guitars can manage to keep the attention of an open-air main arena but they did it well. I joined the crowd standing there in amazement as these two built up a wall of flamenco/deathmetal/thrash/latin acoustica that captivated the mind and ears. Closing with 'Diablo Rojo' as the rain started pouring down (AGAIN!) left an appreciative crowd crying for more.

I dont really know what to say about Sophie Ellis Bextor. She's hot, thats for one. I only know two or three of her songs, thats another. The place wasnt exactly packed but there was plenty of room to move on the dancedirt and her set moved along merrily without much fuss. She had for some reason decided to bring a backing band out with her and while they may have in fact been playing, the backing vocals were definately mimed. Unless the dude sounds like a chick as well. But she cast a lovely picture on an ugly stage in a bright blue number that made her look like a disco ball. Either way she was the perfect way to kill time before...

The Fratellis took to the main stage with the arena absolutely packed. And I mean PACKED! Flags everywhere and loud chants before the lads came out with flags themselves and flew into it with 'Baby Fratelli'. These guys write loud, singalongable (that should SO be a word) anthems for the innebriated and hence they suit the festival stage perfectly. A horn section added delicious touches to all the right places and as the final notes of 'Chelsea Dagger' sounded out and the band walked off the stage the day just kept getting better. The weather on the other hand.. thats another story. Then it was time for the epic walk over to the second stage to get a place for Lily Allen and see if she could reinvigorate my interest in her with anything different to the usual stuff I'd already experienced twice this year.

It turns out we got there a little early as falsetto-weirdo Mika was still finishing off his set and while I'd never really given him a chance I have to raise a limp-wristed hand and say I didnt mind him at all. The only songs we caught were 'Love Today' and 'Grace Kelly' but they were both fun and during the latter a massive entourage of people dressed in disney-esque costumes came out and danced and basically would have tripped out anyone on mushrooms. If I cant say it was good, I can at least say it was fun, and my fellow wbdf members all know that a little fun goes a long way.

Mika's legions spoiled out after his set and we actually managed to get quite a good spot for Lily Allen. While waiting for the setup to be complete I was relieved to see that the entire band was back from their absence at Splendour but as soon as the place got quiet and the intro noise started I knew we were in for the same thing all over again. 'LDN' preceeded that fucking 'Window Shopper' song and it just meandered along AGAIN! But even worse than usual I must say. The words to numerous parts of numerous songs were forgotten as she mumbled or hummed along with a smile that prayed for forgiveness she then proceeded to get on her drunken pedestal and bag out Americans ("fucking fatties") which is fine, we all love to do that. Then she proposed a 'toast' to Amy Winehouse (in rehab at the time for alcohol and substance abuse) with a 'fuck you' smile on her face and a laugh at the end, and just acting like a genuine spoiled brat of pop music. It was interesting to see the day after in the London press that her toast to Winehouse was 'heartfelt' and she 'doesnt hate America' she just 'hates Bush' and shes terribly sick of everyone misinterpreting her all the time +cough+ Then the day after the press reports that shes looking into checking into a centre for 'exhaustion' +cough+ - I'd just like to say this: Every time I see Lily Allen she gets less professional. If you're going to forget the words to your songs, stop drinking on stage. If you dont want things you say to be taken out of context (even though it would appear they werent) then keep your stupid mouth shut. Hurry up and release a new album and stop playing the SAME FUCKING SET ALL THE TIME! RAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

Now that I've glued my head back together lets move on.. It was a tough call to decide on who would close my fesitval. While The Killers are a big name band who I havent seen perform well yet (thanks to average sound at the Big Day Out) I had also never seen Basement Jaxx in my life. Looking at how packed the main arena was for the Fratellis I decided if I wanted to see anything my best bet would be to go with Basement Jaxx and, as with alot of bands I see lately, I was not disappointed. I was impressed beyond belief more like. I have never seen a show like it. Its like they bring together theatre style cabaret with an electronic edge, impressive lasers, talented performers with numerous costume changes, a fat wall of sound and even an absolutely massive robot making its way out on stage for 'Plug It In'. A surprisingly great way to close one of the biggest festival experiences I've been on, despite the fact the rain refused to stop and if anything got worse. Then it was off to the buses with plentiful soreness, minor deafness, significant moistness and minor chaffage but a relative smile and security in the knowledge that I'd be having a shower in a few hours.

So what have I learned?

Pros: Apart from the bands and the obvious fact they can put more into production costs on their own continent or even the Americans playing trans-atlantic. Everything was alot bigger, more grandeur than you'd class with your festivals here. Thats not to say ours are worse, but its interesting. And of course the bands. Dizzee Rascal, The Fratellis and Basement Jaxx, all lived up to and dispensed with previous expectations I may have had coming into the festival.

Cons: Apart from the stupid Brits and the stupid weather there werent that many either apart from Lily Allens set and Amy Winehouse choosing the time of the festival to go into rehab when I was looking forward to catching her. But we cant win em all. Also the abundance of what seemed to be pop acts is something Im not used to with a festival, and I'm not sure if I like it either. And the rubbish. I kid you not the place was filthy. Worse than anything we have over here.

Will I be going back next year? Fuck no, can't afford it.