Hands Off My Monet

In Paris this week and the French Government, including new much-loved president Nicolas Sarkozy, have been pushing ISPs harder than a constipated person in the hope of having a new 'three strikes' system prevail - a system that can ban the French from using the Internet.

So whats bad about that I hear you say? The net could do with a little less arrogance and strange smell - well, whilst I couldnt agree more, here's how it works.

French ISPs start monitoring their users a bit more than conventionally, if you download, or are suspected to have downloaded illegal music or movies, you are given a strike. Three strikes and your internet connection is destroyed and you are blacklisted from being able to procure an Internet connection in suburban Pigalle ever again. Sound a little bit harsh? Oui! Luckily for every Johnny Frenchman out there public and government dissapproval is growing. The EU pariliament voted to oppose the notion in goverment last week and consumer groups are also expressing their disapproval (but who cares). The French, however, are lifting their noses at the whole thing and the motion (currently) looks like it will be put through and effective as of May this year.

Alot of this probably has to do with the fact that Europeans dont seem to want to buy their music online. Its kind of like you and me really. If we wanted to buy something we'd go down to the shops and get the album. If not we'll download it and delete it when it takes up too much disk space.

Tongues are already wagging in regards to the French assuming presidency of the EU later this year, and of Sarkozys maniacal intent to put this plan into effect across Europe whether they like it or not. Now can I just ask - has anyone thought of this scenario?

Carla Bruni and Mr Sarkozy are sitting down at some massive palacial mansion in the countryside, Sarkozy chuffed at being president and Bruni chuffed at being born into a rich family, married and surrounded by people who'll do anything for her for a root. And she says "Nicolas, az you must know i am ze successfully zinger/zongwriter but for years I haff been not receiving ze, 'ow you say, royalty cheques, zere must be zomezing wrong, and I blame ze internets"

For those of you who dont know, Carla Bruni (the relatively hot wife of the President) used to have a musical career. Was it much? Im not sure, judge for yourself. I cant understand what the hell shes talking about personally.

(come on, nude photos? doing a clip with no pants on? this woman is a WHORE!)

Anyway, could the reason Sarkozy has this intent to destroy civil liberties for a few more royalty cheques have anything to do with his missus? It wouldnt surprise me at all. But if every two-bit ho bag with an insignificant musical career could stop people downloading music, why hasnt Kevin Rudd employed (or married) Nikki Webster? Probably too busy doing a Zoo shoot.

Bottom line, get your kit off, marry the president and you too can have your personal agenda forced upon millions. And that is todays lesson.