:)

You thought I was dead.

But I'm not. I was held captive in somewhere in subterranean Tokyo, captive by a group of long haired Japanese louts by the name of Boris, and they subjected me to their latest album Smile. After the first bar I developed Stockholm Syndrome, and I never wanted to escape.

This album kicked me square in the area between the stomach and the balls. Thats where it hurts the most. But when it kicked me, it stepped on me and twisted its boot into my bowels. The stunning cacophony of 'Ka Re Ha Te Ta Sa Ki - No One's Grieve' tied me up in firmly knotted ropes, whilst tracks like 'Buzz-In' beat me into submission. But I begged for more....

The next thing I felt was a brutal left-right combo demolish my face. The left, 'My Neighbour Satan' began with its soothing psychedelic glove, which gave way to the crushing weight of the fist, sounding like a chainsaw cutting through concrete as it tore through my cheek. The right was a track called 'Statement', a more direct punch that knocked the nose right off my face with a knuckle duster full of wailing guitar.

After my tormentors were done, they played '[ ]', 15 minutes of beautiful anesthesia to sooth my aching bones and heal my bloody wounds. Now that I have told you of my wonderful ordeal, I must catch the next flight back to Tokyo...

MP3: Boris - Statement
VIDEO : Boris - My Neighbor Satan
Buy Smile from Amazon