Riding Seatless

Flicking through a bit of international news today I found something that at first made me laugh, then made me a little sad, but then made me laugh again... and consequently the hunt for evidence made me sad again.

We all know that the world has changed; no longer can you walk around with toy guns and a dishevelled appearance outside daycare centres, nor can you joke about blowing up someones house simply because they wont let you on a plane until you explain why your shoes are ticking and you keep twitching. In Memphis this week or last, something as simple as a STICKER for a BAND has created havoc.

"This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb" (which is a shit name anyway if you ask me) were at the centre of focus as someone left a bike with said band stuck across it. Someone saw the bike sitting out the front of the terminal at Memphis airport and alerted police. The terminal and baggage claim were entirely evacuated, a Canine unit (which every damn article seems to be spelling K-9) was sent to sniff around but the bike was clear from explosives. The owner of the bike was taken into custody but released shortly after because, come on, thats just silly.

Whats even sillier, however, is the fact that this isnt the first time that this has happened. In Ohio and Philly similar things have occurred. Apparently when told that it had happened again the singer expressed remorse and frustration. Pfft. First of all you dont give your band a name like that unless you've got a plan to get it into peoples heads. Second of all if you gave a shit you would have changed your name after the FIRST time. I went to try and chase down some of the bands music which was easy. Reading their bio it turns out the bands first relase was in 97, far before 9/11 so they're clear there, but does that mean, if anything, their image is heightened in the shadow of post 2001 terrorism? Maybe they knew something about it? Maybe its them we should be asking questions to, maybe it was all just a marketing ploy. Anyway I wasnt sure what to expect from the music as I heard newspaper articles describe it as 'anarcho-punk' (yawn) but it turned out even more bland. The bio says: but their punk roots were evident enough in their music that they became one of the premiere bands at the forefront of the folk-punk genre. Thats horseshit. If you were any good you wouldnt need a self-description as flattering as that and you wouldnt need a name like that to get you global publicity. Anyway, decide for yourself.


Or you can always check out their myspace - http://www.myspace.com/tbiapb - or dont, I could care less

In summary - a band with a pretty stupid name is receiving a hell of a lot of attention, because of stickers. Oh the power of mechandising. Its a good thing my new band "I hate western civilisation, currently have live grenades strapped to my chest and am headed for Central Station" went with t-shirts first!

If you wanna stay, stay

I like the idea of Jason Mraz, you know the whole man and his guitar spitting out jaunty little numbers about how good things can be. But I cannot for love nor money bring myself to tolerate that bastard who looks like the 13 year old judge on So you think you can dance. Plus can you really trust someone with a last name that is clearly lacking a much needed vowel?

Well if you're like me, I've got someone for you... Eric Hutchinson. You probably already know him but for those who don't, he is a slightly more tolerable Remedy-esque performer and the obligatory uber-positive look on everything is still there. But he trumps Mraz at guitar and at life quite easily.





And yes ladies, he's got vowels in ALL the right places...

Myspace: Eric Hutchinson

Thrown Off A Cliff

Copyright law is always a bitch if you ask me. I dont consider myself particularly knowledgeable but as far as I know copyright in Australia lasts until I think 50 years after the performer/composers death? Feel free to correct me on that. Anyway, its not Australia we're talking about here.

According to The Times British musicians were last week 'celebrating' the European Parliaments decision to extend the length of Copyright from 50 years after the song is released to 95. None happier, apparently, than Sir Cliff Richard, whos early hits, released in the 50's, are about to stop earning him royalty cheques. The man turns 69 this year.

“Of course I’m pleased for myself, but the relief will be huge for those performers whose pension is largely made up of royalties from perhaps just two or three recordings in the fifties or sixties. Well done and thanks to the lawmakers for a good and just decision.”

Alright hold it right there. Does anyone else think that Sir Cliff has just shown what a 'blithering idiot' (Jeremey Clarkson has given me a new liking of that phrase) he is with that statement? While he was off enjoying a knighthood and the consequent fame that comes with such a pompous aura most of these artists who had their 'two or three recordings' were out either getting JOBS or running themselves into bankruptcy with drug habits and subsequently dying. You dont know where these artists are now as they've assimilated back into the mainstream of regular joes (and josephines). They're not persuing some trivial extension of copyright so that they can get their royalties from AM radio performance well into their 80's.

If he had any sense about him Sir Cliff could have used the massive amounts of money he no doubt DID make back in his heyday (once he started writing his own material) to invest in personal interests, stocks, fucking whatever! He's had the money for ages! Hell, here's an idea, just go an re-record your own goddam material the day the copyright expires! You wrote it, I'm sure people won't have a problem. Then again I don't see many bands these days lining up to do a cover of 'Living Doll' anyway!



In summary; while considered significant, I personally think the law is more symbolic than important. But to have some greedy old shit complain that he's not going to get his royalties anymore while most of the people his age have worked long and hard for a living, paying off mortgages and living off super and a pension really shits me.

Follow The Rules

Arriving back from Bali to the real world of two way streets and set prices for goods and services left me a little down. The life of a person in Bali is so simple and while that also limits ones ability to experience life to the full, it also allows the chance to be blissfully unaware of what your missing out on (like Girl Talk coming to Australia). None the less, to arrive home with the latest from The Whitest Boy Alive bouyed my somber mood.

After hearing Dreams or even merely from the opening chords of 'Burning' I had little doubt that The Whitest Boy Alive would be burnt into the very fabric of my soul. So this makes follow ups a very dangerous game for everyone involved. This is where the cracks in many fan - band relationships begin to show and often it can be heart breaking when you discover your heroes aren no longer who they said they were.

Anyways so I'm reading the press release it said their previous effort Dreams was "equally suited to a busy dancefloor, or a quiet night on the sofa" and I thought to myself how can I possibly build anything more perfect than these few words. It's impossible, that was genius. Rather than wasting my time with this noodle scratcher any further I thought it a much better idea to stop thinking and actually give Rules a listen before I go for a baked dinner at the girlfriend's house.

So what is Rules actually like? Shut up and tell us! I hear you say.

It is everything I'd hoped for and more. They keep the delicate balance between dancefloor and background music however this clearly is intended to appeal to the dancefloor side of things for the most part on tracks like 1517, Keep It a Secret & High on the Heels with it's coffee lounge moments still present if not slightly scaled back on Timebomb & Rollercoaster Ride.

The Whitest Boy Alive has treaded into dangerous waters by adding a lot more than the simple combination that went with on Dreams, it certainly works out with tracks like Courage showing a perfect unity of it all. If there isn't already look for some hot remixes of Courage very soon I'm sure.

I think the most endearing quality of Rules though and what shines out so intelligently is that where I previously mentioned this track is more dancefloor or this track is more coffee lounge, overall every song is such a delicately perfect balance between these two characteristics of The Whitest Boy Alive that you could make a counter case for each song being something other than how I've heard it.

This may sound bizarre but if I were ever to make a Las Vegas Casino with an indie flavour to it, The Whitest Boy Alive would have a stint playing there longer than Wayne Newton and Celine Dion put together. Rules is very up market if you ask me, like you wear a The Whitest Boy Alive t shirt and everyone may not have heard of them, but you don't wear it for that reason, you wear it for the notoriety you get from other tastemakers as skilled as yourself.

Without going over the top, I honestly think The Whitest Boy Alive's Rules is set to remain my most favourite release of the year and I think few could argue that Rules is indeed a sublime triumph for music that aims to be minimalist pop but ends up being an intelligent, artistic and complex musical presentation.

Release: Rules will be out 7th March in Australia through Inertia.

For now I suggest you hurry up by being introduced to or re-aquainting yourself with Dreams.I have no idea how official or unofficial this clip is, but I like it none the less and it allows you good people to hear the track 'Courage' which is my personal favourite.

Youtube: The Whitest Boy Alive - Courage

Cut Off Your Hands

How bloody catchy is this Cut Off Your Hands song?

Animazing

While the media machine that is Kevin Rudd continues with the vast public acts of obviousness to make the people think he's doing a good job (this surplus stuff being the most recent - if it gets through. Dont get me started on the state of Australian politics. Its a good thing I dont know much about economics - Chris does though) it would appear that South Korea, or the Peoples Republic or whatever the hell you want to call it - are ready to make the big calls that no one else seems interested in.

All this surplus and rescue package stuff dominates the headlines and tries to make us feel like we're not all poor (I am, which is probably why I dont care as much), but what of the artists? The songwriters? Those who lose money to such social factors as people not wanting to pay to go see a band, venues not putting bands on and replacing them with pokies to increase revenue, and the return of the music-piracy debate that will no doubt increase as the worlds economic problems continue?

Earlier this week the S. Korean government released a statement saying it will provide a $91 MILLION bailout for the Korean music industry. It aims to do a few things - in particular to globalise the Korean music market, known affectionately as K-Pop. Is that a good idea, and will it work? As the Asian market will be the first test I'm sure we as Aussies will find out pretty soon. The money is also going to be spent on:
- Helping the Korean industry bounce back from losses to music piracy
- Double the nations annual music sales both in retail and online.
- The development and construction of several new concert halls (freaking awesome)
- The establishment of a Korean Billboard chart
- Equipment and facility funding for 35,000 Karaoke bars

In most western countries being a musician is part-time for 95% of people. If we (and I include myself) were to quit our jobs and live entirely on earnings from musical performance, we'd probably soon be feeding through garbage cans outside rich peoples houses. It may seem a little obscure, given alot of the average music that comes from there - but thank God there is a government out there willing to try and nurture the cultural soul of a nation in times where we could all do with a little music. I mean, most K-Pop is crap, but you cant take away from the fact that this is an amazing idea and I hope that other governments *cough* can show the same sort of ideology. I could rant on more and more but I know I'd bore you. So check out this K-Pop instead!

It makes me laugh a bit, but I can still enjoy it at a certain level. I certainly wouldnt say anything to their faces as they look mighty tough. Have a good weekend.

Anywhere But Home

Well my good people I am off to Bali as of this Sunday and I thought it be fitting to post this little number from personal favourites The Cassette Kids. Frontwoman Katrina is the absolute fox of the century and she has the vocal chords to back it up. The clip does go a little "Smells like team spirit" for a bit there and I'll forgive the Nirvana nod but mostly it's just Katrina and co looking very fashionable.



They're touring nationally so head over to their myspace for all the dates but the one i thought I'd mention is for us Sydney-siders at one of my all time favourite venues.

Gig: 27 Feb 2009 8:00pm THE BIG O TOUR @ Manning House w/ The Music, The Fratellis, Bluejuice, Yves Klein Blue

Everyone be good and I shall see you when I return... unless I find a computer to use over there.

Falling Down The Stairs

In 2007 some of you, including myself, may vaguely remember that I took a trip to London to witness the V Festival in it's entirety with bands such as Foo Fighters, The Fratellis, Dizzee Rascal and its also where I lost the last shards of respect that I had for Lily Allen as she stumbled through a setlist she should have known like the back of her hand.

But aaanyway to retell the story quickly at the end of our second day options were limited. We could have gone and watched the Killers close the main stage but in the end I went and saw Basement Jaxx perform with their full band set up - and I was more than impressed. The most entertaining and just generally FUN show I've ever seen. Cabaret Electronica even. Its almost indescribable and since then I've been telling my friends to make sure they DO NOT miss out when they finally decide to bring the entire lineup down to Australia.

While this is probably once again old news I'd just like to raise awareness to the fact that THEY ARE COMING! While they were announced on the lineup for the Future Music Festival the fact that no one else on the bill really interested me made me hesitant to purchase a ticket. Then upon returning from holidays I opened up the Drum Media and verbally orgasmed as I saw the announcement for sideshow at the Enmore Theatre. It would also appear that the opportunity is there for Melbournites to catch them at the Palace. If you're not fortunate enough to live in one of the good cities in this country you can catch them at Future Music.


All I can really say is you would honestly have to be STUPID to miss this travelling extravaganza. Not even the video does it justice. Honestly.

Basement Jaxx Dates:
Feb 28 - Randwick Racecourse, Sydney (FutureMusic)
Mar 01 - Supreme Court Gardens, Perth (FutureMusic)
Mar 04 - Palace Theatre, Melbourne
Mar 05 - Enmore Theatre, Sydney
Mar 07 - Doobmen Racecourse, Brisbane (FutureMusic)
Mar 08 - Flemington Racecourse, Melbourne (FutureMusic)
Mar 09 - Rundle Park, Adelaide (FutureMusic)

Tickets for the sideshows are available through Ticketek - so for the love of God CALL THEM!

You've Got to be Joking

Ok so it's been a full week now since the annual Triple J hottest 100 and it's only now that i've decided to write up something about the result. Perhaps it's because I have been so aghast at the final result that I haven't been able to bring myself to write anything. Well not really; unfortunately I had a distinct feeling it was coming. But it still frustrates me nonetheless.

Ok so maybe I'm a little disappointed that Kings Of Leon took out the top spot with their hugely popular and way over-hyped song, Sex on Fire.

And it's not that i think the song is shit because it's really not THAT bad. It's easy on the ears and it has a relatively nice sound. But in the end it's just pop music disguised under the pseudonym of 'alternative' music (which is so freaking broad these days pretty much anything not in the top 40 is considered alternative).

This is not groundbreaking music, it's just more of the same. And if you're a fan of KOL from the past, you can see just how much their creativity is lacking in this song and their new album overall.
Simple repetitive riffs, shallow cliched lyrics and a sound that is so overproduced I'm sure Chad Kroeger would be proud. Maybe a combined tour with Nickelback is now in order.

And I mean it's all fine by me. If they want to take the plunge into the mainstream music world and make this simple, cheesy pop music that sells millions then that's their choice and good on them.

But this brings me back to Triple J and the problem I have with this song getting the number 1 spot. Triple J is supposed to be Australia's premier alternative, indie rock radio station. And while there are so many great things it does for Aussie music, each year it seem to pulling further and further away from the indie rock bands and putting more emphasis on the major acts and labels.

Now I know it's a competitive world out there and the J's are simply trying to stay on top of the game and keep up their listeners. But with the amount of local top 40 commercial radio stations already flooding the airwaves, with their wanker presenters (aka Kyle Sandilands and his brain dead crony Jackie O), the last thing we need is for a NATIONAL top 40 station. But it seems Triple J is invariably heading in this direction.

This years Hottest 100 was the biggest ever with over 800 000 votes cast. A great result for Triple J, but maybe not so good for the many indy bands out there that don't fall into the mainstream category.

As Triple J gains popularity in the mainstream audience, it also starts gaining those fans that don't really have any particular interest or understanding in music but just like what they're used to and what sounds familiar. Hence Sex on Fire getting number 1.

When compared to some of the amazing sounds produced last year, Sex on Fire is pretty lacklustre. It's nothing new really, but i'm sure that chorus has every 16 year old girl frothing at the mouth.

Maybe I'm just dirty cos Jackson Jackson didn't even get a mention in the top 100 (it made 101 with All Alone). But either way it's still disappointing to see Australia's only national indy/alternative radio station give away the top spot to such a commercial, blatantly money grabbing song.
But, I guess there's always next year.

In the meantime, check out the film clip for All Alone by Jackson Jackson