Pronumerals and Stuff

Remember those people who never made learning fun? Those teachers that were more concerned with what you were doing with your penis out instead of how they could help you learn? The ones that would confiscate the cigarettes and then go and smoke them? I suppose we're all inducted to the concept of a police state early in life.. where individualism is stifled and we must bow down to the conceived structure of a 'normal' society.. Not me though, I was a good boy..

Anyway here comes Professor Javid esq. with a mathetmatical and somewhat algebraic deconstruction of System of a Down. Ironic given the previous paragraph.. Anyway if you dont know them, here they are:


So.. as you can see it's basically one guy with a beard who sings ranty weird stuff in a mix of kookiness and politics, and another dude without a beard who sings harmonies to the dude with a beard and then does his own kind of punk-rock thing with anger and a bit of charisma. Add a dude with a beard on the drums and a dude with a kind of weird goatee beard thing on bass and together you have a collection of pronumerals we shall call, for this equation, (SOAD).

Now two alums have come out since (SOAD)'s decision to take a hiatus. The first one is a solo release by the guy with the beard who sings the ranty stuff also known as Serj Tankian and henceforth known as (ST). His album was called Elect the Dead and given his contribution to the band in terms of lyrics, amazing vocal diversity and political agenda, you'd expect a solo album to pretty much contain these three things. And listening through it, from 'Empty Walls', to 'Money', to 'Sky Is Over', it pretty much is. Oh, and he plays the piano.


The second half of this breakdown comes from the skinny punky guy without a beard, known as Daron Malakian who happened to rope the drummer with a beard (John Dolmayan) along to form their band Scars On Broadway - which we will call (SOB). You would think that the album would contain pretty much some stock standard fun and hilarity with a bit less of a message, but plenty more hooks and some solid drumming. Do you get that? Yes. The single choice is appalling but the album is quite palatable.


Oh, and as you may very well notice the only guy that DIDN'T have a beard in (SOAD) now has one in (SOB). You may also noted that I havent included the bassist as he doesnt really do much, isnt that amazing and no doubt does what he's told for the most part, although he does make a good interview and that goatee is mucho enviable.

So mathematically, as teachers would have you believe, the following is true;

SOAD = ST + SOB

and that therefore

ST + SOB = SOAD

and even that

ST = SOAD - SOB

And you know what, if you showed all your working, you'd be right. The teacher would give you all nice ticks in his or her red pen and maybe even a smiley face but the fact of that matter is that you're wrong. Its quite evident that yes, System of a Down minus the others WOULD be Serj but this does change the sound of the music. While (ST)'s album sounds the same as an (SOAD) album this is mainly due to the production values. While (SOB)s album sounds like (SOAD) as well this is in the production.

This is where neither half of the sum has done themselves justice. It works more for (SOB) because it contains the guys who are making the music anyway. So which album is better? Ultimately it comes down to what you like more about System. Serj's agenda and kookiness or Darons catchy offensiveness. Both of them do show off a bit of diversity, Serj in his vocal stylings and piano and Daron shows some variety with trance, chunk and even some Dylan-esque vocals. Alot of the (SOB) tracks however do sound like they were left on the cutting room floor after (SOAD)s massive Hypnotize/Mesmerize collection.

Anyway, if you've gotten this far you've probably wasted your time..