Short Fuse

Alot of people don't like Mondays. In my concept of a working week Monday is in fact Thursday so it's not so bad. But today I'm going to join in the general feeling of hatred and negativity aimed at Mondays by venting some of my, as Pix calls it, 'inexhaustible rage'.

Watching very late night TV as I sat on the couch of a Saturday night, having finished work and coming home to relax with a beer and some cones, I ended up flicking to Channel 10. I knew I wasnt on Rage because they were playing some classics and this is honestly the worst shit I've ever heard. This was the absolutely disgusting waste of money my eyes happened upon....



If you've turned it off in disgust, choked on your own vomit or suddenly have the urge to go out and kill alot of people or something of that nature I can entirely relate. This is Short Stack (I'm not even going to put the name in bold because they shouldn't be proud of making my list) and OH my GOD they fucking disgust me. I'm not too familiar with a bio but this piece of wankery of a video clip looks like it was filmed in Sydney so I'm going to assume they're from here. Now lets dissect the 'music' and other elements.

1) The fucking haircuts. Oh my god. Is that honestly how people wear their hair these days? NO. I could ignore these guys, let it slide as just another piece of middle of the road mediocrity but I look at that hair and I get ANGRY. I want to set fire to it and then skull drag the little pricks back to whatever hole they came from.
2) Vocal stylings and Song compostition - unfortunately the harmonies have been done by AFI and every other band of that nature for years so you are bringing NOTHING NEW to the table. And when you don't sound like an emo fag the closest you come to sounding like a man is Placebo, and I can tell you now that Brian Moloko doesn't sound that manly.

Head on over to the bands official page and the money making machine continues. Down the bottom you get a twitter feed from ALL THREE band members just in case you wanna know. They have iPhone apps, ringtones, plenty of shit to sell and a photo complete with 'falling rain' that looks like the biggest rip off of Sin City you've ever seen. Well, that I have anyway.

You could counter all this with "stop being a jealous cynical fuck, just because you're also a "musician" and haven't achieved the success that these guys have" - am I jealous? I guess that technically the answer is yes. But jealous in the way I'm jealous of our fellow WBDF frenemies 'The Spazzys' - do I feel they deserve to be there? No. 3-4 chords per section in a verse/chorus x2 + bridge + chorus song? Could I write that? In all honesty, yes, it really is NOT that hard. So why haven't I? God knows I have, I've written many songs over the last 10 years I've been making music. So why aren't I as successful as short stack? Integrity is a big word so I wont use it, but the bottom line is that I wont wear makeup, do my hair like a fag and hence the 12-16 year old female market (the primary reason the economy ticks over) dont wanna have sex with me. That is all its about. Their production values are shiny, their costumes are 'fabulous' and they've got the image down pat. Do they have substance? No.

There are two types of 'musicians' in the world. Those who don't compromise who they are, what they feel and the way they do things. Regardless of what they play or how they play it they'll do it their way. If they make it, their stature and credibility will be vast, and its the kind of music people will STILL be listening to in 40 years.

Then theres Short Stack (OR Justin Bieber, OR Jonas Brothers or ANY of that manufactured shit) - a 'band' based on image, where your clothes and hair are just as important as how well you can play your instrument, a machine pumped full of money and targeted at kids who love being TOLD what to enjoy. Who will follow a band in an almost religious way simply because they think that one of the guys is 'cute'. In other words, a band supported by fucking idiots. If you're a 14 year old Short Stack fan reading this and its making your blood boil, first of all FUCK YOU and second of all in 10 years you're going to know I was right anyway. Will people be listening to Short Stack in 40 years? Hell no. But the damage that this kind of music is doing to the world is more than you might think. The more these manufactured acts succeed the worse its going to be for those (not including myself) who still have shreds of integrity.