Harden the F$%K Up

Last night, whilst stuck in typically horrendous Sydney traffic, I was listening to triple J's 'Hack' program. I enjoy listening to Hack, its certainly left-wing alot of the time but they cover socially relevant issues, as well as some obscure ones that are often very interesting. Last night was interesting, but for another reason I suppose.

Splendour in the Grass tickets went on sale yesterday - YAY! Its a great lineup, great festival and a great time. The greatest time is not always had when involved in the frantic scurry to get your hands on some tickets when they go on sale though. Basically a significant part of the Hack program was dedicated to covering peoples grievances with the Splendour/Moshtix site, interviewing the people from these two organisations and explaining what was going on. This was of course interspersed with clips of calls the station had been receiving all day about the situation, all the whinging, all the crying, all the 'its not fair'. So for all you people out there having a cry about missing out on Splendour tickets, this is for you;

I've been to 3 Splendours - 06, 07 and 08. Dont forget, 08 was now 3 years ago. In 2006 I had absolutely no trouble getting tickets. I went on the site two days after they'd gone on sale and breezed through, getting what I needed.

2007 was another story completely. This is the year that Splendour exploded for the masses. The site crashed half an hour before tickets were supposed to go on sale. Shit happens. Luckily for me (and other concert goers) they were providing sales over the phone that year. I sat in the exact spot I'm sitting in now, at this computer, refreshing the site every 20 seconds whilst holding the phone between my neck and ear, and frantically dialing and redialing with my feet. I eventually got through, on the phone, but I was one of you. I agreed the whole process was fucked, and hoped for better preparation for the next year.

2008 was not to be any better. If anything it was worse. After having got through initially, straight away, the site crashed as my (and thousands of other peoples) transaction was being processed. I was already satisfied that I'd got tickets, but this was not to be the case. Because of the site going down, everyone who had gotten to the processing stage of their transaction had to wait hours, days, before finding out if the transaction had been successful or not. It was an absolute bitch, and very annoying. But did I waste my time bitching? No. I got my ticket, I was prepared for the coming shitstorm and hey, it could have been worse.

So there you go. If you think 'oh you havent waited there for hours/havent had the site crash on you when you're at the front of the 'queue'/haven't had your transaction half processed' you can just fuck off. Ive been there and seen them all, not just with Splendour either. The Big Day Out is a shitfight, any high-interest gigs are. What I hate is these people that think they've been robbed, and that they should badmouth what is easily one of the best festivals in this country solely because thousands upon thousands of other people were all reaching for the same ticket. Are you stupid?

There was a guy on the radio yesterday who had a whinge about waiting 45 minutes. Had a whinge because he'd already spent money (over $1000 apparently) on flights and accomodation. Heres two words for you sonny - DUMB FUCK. This shows that not only do you have more dollars than sense, it also shows you have NEVER been to Splendour before, this was your first time EVER trying to get tickets for something and now you're fucked. Go ahead, blame Splendour, blame Moshtix, you're still not going.. cunt.

And ANOTHER THING - Westpacs online servers completely shat themselves in an 'unprecedented' incident 2 hours before tickets went on sale. A high percentage of Australians do their banking through Westpac or subsidiary servers, even Moshtix did, so they had to work out a way to sort everything out with the banks, not just with the thousands of whinging fucks that wanted tickets. Surely thats grounds enough for most people to go 'wow, thats a bad fucking coincidence, but such is life, I'll try again tomorrow' - NO! Lets tear these companies a new asshole because they had to deal with it AND deal with your crap at the same time!

I feel I'm rambling now so I should probably wrap it up.

1. Seriously, if you're having a sook because you missed out on tickets, thats understandable. People are going to be having a blast while you stay home and pull your Pud. I'd be mad too. But don't blame Splendour, don't blame the internet, you can maybe (a little bit) blame your bank but ultimately - blame yourself. And please, for the love of god, get the fuck over it.

2. Calling up Triple J because the site has gone down? What are they going to do, seriously? Send the Doctor out to personally deliver a sympathy ticket to your house? Get on a hotline to Splendour and hook you up directly? Call for someones head on national radio? No. Shut up.

3. Tickets went back on sale today anyway, although chances are if you're reading this and haven't got one, you probably missed out.

4. Prepare for next year! I dont mean buy a tent, upgrade your internet connection, change banks or ANY of that shit. What I mean is prepare yourself PSYCHOLOGICALLY! Understand that its freaking stressful, understand that you're getting the exact same service (or lack thereof) as EVERYONE ELSE and maybe have a plan B. I hear Adelaide is nice about the same time of year, go for a freaking roadtrip. (actually I don't hear much about Adelaide at all)

And on a more serious note, as a suggestion for next year - not just to the guys from Splendour but BDO and most other festivals - how about instead of just using the internet for ticket sales, which we see failing miserably every year, you share the load around? Keep the full camping/event tickets as online only but when it comes to event tickets whats wrong with setting up a telephone transaction system? Or God forbid going with the option of outlet sales? Both phone and outlet sales might be considered 'prehistoric' but they are BOTH successful, physical means of obtaining a ticket. Just a suggestion.

I hope you've enjoyed this rant. Leave our festivals alone and harden the fuck up.

Website: Splendour In The Grass