Australia Does Got Talent! And It's All In The Hair

So as I sit here contemplating in thinly veiled fury whether or not to slam my laptop against the wall because the alleged video editing program, Sony Vegas, has again frozen my computer, further derailing my Splendour Video posts, I thought I'd check out some Murdoch Press for some well researched, balanced news to ease my throbbing cartoid artery.

And what do I find?
Well I'll tell you right now.

Jack Vigden has finally released his debut album! And who is Jack Vigden, you ask? Shame on you! He's only the biggest thing since Wes Carr. You know. That guy. The one with the hair. Looks like Jesus, but sings unholy, god awful songs, usually on the Manly Ferry route.
If you still haven't worked it out yet, Jack Vigden is the 14 year old winner of Channel 7's Australia's Got Talent, a title that's about as ironic as Donald Trump's hairpiece.

As News.com.au (another piece of irony) was offering an "exclusive first listen" to his album, I simply couldn't pass up the opportunity to read all about his rise from zero to shopping centre hero.

The twist is that Australia's most talentless morons host the show

It's been only two weeks since he tore down the competition and reined supreme on Australia's Got Talent, but he is now ready to unleash this amazing new album on the world. Wow, he really is talented. But what new music will we be hearing on Vigden's album? Well, if by new I mean the same mindless, factory produced, pop garbage, that sounds exactly the same as the last seven seasons of Australian Idol (and I think I do), then it's going to be some very new material indeed.

But naturally when you record an album in only 3 days, you can't expect to have all your originals on there. Vigden's gone for only two originals, and I use the term 'original' loosely. Maybe his original's are just that good that Sony wants to save all the best ones for his follow up album.

So instead we'll be listening to, as Vigden describes so eloquently, a "journey of songs I've grown up loving and singing." So a bit of Nirvana in there? Perhaps some Faith No More or Smashing Pumpkins? Hell, maybe even some Jamiroqui or Foo Fighters just for shits n giggles? Will I stop asking myself questions and then answering them? Shit no!
How about some of the greatest artists of all time! Great artists like Celline Dion and Mariah Carey.
Oh yeah, this album is gonna be huge.

Madame Tussauds has already completed it's wax replica for it's Sydney opening.
 Wait.. Oh my God it's REAL!

But just before Vigden commences his world arena tour he'll be playing a few smaller shows. For the fans of course. Oh, and Sony naturally as they now own him.
First stop: Warringah Mall. And who knows, if that goes well he might even make it to the new Westfield Shopping Centre in the city.
But of course he'll do well, I mean, as we all know, every winner of commercial television's 'talent' contests are born to perform. I'm sure Casey Donovan is doing... Something.

And is Vigden worried about being a victim of the '15 minutes of fame' sydrome? Hell no he's not! “It’s probably going to die down a bit, but that's fine. I just want to keep making great music and hopefully people will keep enjoying it."
You trooper. I'll enjoy it Jacky. Even if the great music you keep making is actually someone elses 'great' music, I'll be there, front of stage, Warringah Mall.

Don't let the haters get you down. They just don't understand. You're original. I mean, Justin Bieber's hair is brown for a start.