How the Arias Should of Gone! (Maybe)

Ok, so we all now how much of a joke the ARIA's are/were/will be. So I've decided rather than be too bitter, I'm going to pretend I am someone important and give out my own awards. So you all have two complete shams to hack on! No worries guys. I chucked in some mp3's and youtubes to make it interesting. No worries.


Best Breakthrough (literally)

Ladies and Gentlemen, I know the ARIA's are meant to be about excellence by AUSTRALIAN's in the field of music, But this is the best excuse I'll get to show you all Hard Gay Ramen. The legend of Japan. So Here he is! Okayyyyy

Best Breakthrough Artist

Screw the Grates, Im committing the cardinal sin of changing my post.

Young & The Restless!!!

Who won this year's Triple J unearthed competition. Congrats!

Best Breakthrough Single
Van She - "Kelly"

Best Urban Release
This award has been discontinued and subsequently 40 ARIA's sent to the Hilltop Hoods house to appease them for an award where they have no competition because Australian Hip Hop is the most redundant and crap thing this country has. It's worse than Jet.

Best Electro Pop Release
Van She - Van She Ep

Best Country Release
This award has been discontinued.

Best Independent Release
Please. Who is REALLY independent these days. Hilltop Hoods, Waifs & John Butler can share this one between them for the next 50 years.

Best Rock Album
Augie March - Moo, You Bloody Choir

Ok it is not that rock but they needed to win something here!

Best Adult Contemporary Album
Bob Evans - Suburban Songbook.

I'll let Bob have this one on the account no one wants an award this crap. You beat Paul Kelly no doubt. Thats nothing to be proud of, most people think he's not even alive anymore accept for wine-trendy 45 year old singles in St Kilda.

Best Music DVD
Useless Award. DVD's are for Napoleon Dynamite fans, not Eskimoe Joe freaks.

Best Dance Release
The Presets - Beams

(What Should be) Highest Selling Album
Ajax - Spin City

Highest Selling Single
Midnight Juggernauts - 45 & Rising.

I don't care if it was even a single or not.

Best Group
Bang Gang - Is there any group than is hotter right now? I think not.

Best Cover Art
Ajax - Spin City

Best Video - Dual Winners

The Presets - Are you the one?

Sneaky Sound System - I Love It

Best Classic (minus the al) Album

Icehouse - Man of Colours

Best Jazz Album
The Necks – Chemist

Chris likes em. They can stay i guess...

Best World Music Album
The Cat Empire - Cities: The Cat Empire Project

Best Children’s Album
The Grates - Gravity Wont Get You High

Best Comedy Release
TV Rock - Flaunt It

Best Blues & Roots Album
The Audreys - Between Last Night & Us

Best Female Artist
Princess Superstar or Patience Hodgson

Best Male Artist
Ajax. Can't go past him.

Hall of Fame Inductees
Midnight Oil & Ice House

Single of the Year
Sneaky Sound System - I Love It

Shame the majority of their other music is poor by comparison.

Album of the Year

The Sleepy Jackson - Personality. One was a spider, One was a bird.

Now You'll notice some of the albums / artists and tracks I'm giving awards to are not quite as recent as you'd think. But I figure it is better late than never to give em a bit of recognition through a shammed awards list!